sometimes I believe in things that doesn't exist i don't know why.Keep desiring what i can't have that obviously furstates me or i really introduce myself into project although there is not a progess so i stop to care about whch time it's appears the universe is back on me. the reason it's not explained even if i try to do my best is never enough  and blame myself a lot about it without rembering that i have my love family to do it . i feel so thankful that would be nuts to throw it away, i wish at least i had a dog as i don't get what i need from people . Even though i do against . To be alone it's amost a sport to me /my life cause there is alwas hurt and not even a good advice or anyone i can tell my estories about so i keep wih it from me.