Protests are not heard

Hey , everyone i just did another test that could/can define my life for the future, if i'll go to college or not i'm gonna have more to the nexts days i say.  to talk about other things let's me open to this world to be ok with me ..
 I just don't figure out that everytime i can be ok there is always someone who doens't be ok , with that ?
I can't be all happiness i want because there's none ..
i wish i could be more out going , cause i since don't do nothing by day in days, every time that i try to do something like to go out doing simple stuff like going to my course or grandma's always , i can'go with the clothes i want..
I just don't havemany friends so i don't go out so much the way i wanted , i don't enjoy my life because i don't have time so,it's like all the days are sunday... i can't do like that others girls do cause the stupid family doens't acccept that...
at that house i'm living is a ditadure, i can't be hearing my songs - cause somieone says something, somieone talks about my hair , my clothes sneekars , eyeslashes , soccer who i want to win,etc.. I'm over it cause i've passed all this age - someione is my father..
if i don't feel well in my own house i couldmake myself to go to other home , this is what i need..
even if i like to stay alone ,this is not so ...
So i see my friends life -they're always ok, to their family even if they have any kind of problem doesn't interview on the forms they behave or at least- be work on -  i wish mine was like this too,but never were for that i pray about it , and ask like a old person that has anzemeir as is like this since i born so i don't deserve , not dignified , but what else can i say -it's ok i can't have everything that i request i keep on this misery ...